The Lost Art of the Box Art (no.4)

And here we go again with another look at some stellar box art - even as the form disappears further and further into obsolescence.

Does anyone remember a game called Schizm? No? Neither do I. But what does it matter when the box art that accompanied it was this:

Original image located here. Accessed 28th November 2014

Truly an ominous setting if ever there was one.

And yeah that's all I got. I may have never played the game but I will always remember this artwork.
And that pretty much says it all really.

Patched up

Another week, another huge update required for ESO.

I swear, I've spent more time waiting for this game to update than actually playing it....

Cracking some heads

Hitting the ...er.... elf on the head:

The Lost Art of the Box Art (no.3)

And here we go again with this serial, celebrating games with awesome box art.
For today, let's head into the vault and dust off a classic: The Chaos Engine!
I've talked about this game before. Some of you may remember it from the glory days of the 16-bit era with it appearing on the Amiga, SNES and Megadrive and some of you may have encountered it through the recent re-release on Steam.
Whilst this games merits may be questionable (the tough difficulty being one), it takes one look at the box art to see that this game has, to the newcomer, some potential:

Original image located here. Accessed 21st November 2014

One would think, from this artwork that The Chaos Engine is a character-based game. And they are correct: The whole point of the Chaos Engine is to build a party of two mercenaries from a team of six and shoot stuff.
And as the characters are the driving force of the game, it is therefore no surprise that they take center stage: There is no indication what kind of game this is; there's only the vaguest idea of it's steampunk origins; the connection to the title is only left up to imagination and presence of the legendary Bitmap Brothers is used as a selling point.
And somehow it works! Based on their portraits alone, these characters have plenty of personality. True none of them may speak and each of them only have a slither of a background but it is telling that twenty years on and I still remember the names of each of them - Navvie, Thug, Mercenary, Brigand, Gentleman and Preacher. And that says a lot in these times when games are populated with named characters with their own dialogue and story arcs.

Perhaps there is something to be said for characters with adjectives for names?

One common criticism of the Chaos Engine is that there is a compelling setup behind the game that sadly isn't utilized at all. And despite my championing of this game, I feel compelled to agree. I do indeed feel it a complete waste that these characters offer a lot of personality and none of which is capitalized upon. If anything this game may make for a compelling remake in an age where scripts and fully-voiced dialogue are increasingly commonplace.

Still, the game promised six Hard-Nailed Mercenaries and, in a way, it delivered. So I can't argue with that

Losing the Bennelong Point

Hang on, when did we arrive in Sydney?!

Come on in....

Foreboding much?

The Lost Art of the Box Art (no.2)

And here we go again with this serial, celebrating box art of gaming history.
 Today I want to talk about a game some of you may know. A game from the PlayStation 1 era simply known as D.
Now that may sound like a dumb title for a game but all laughter ceases once one takes a look at the box art:

Talk about ominous. The single letter title is large and in red. And it's encircling the bottom half a of a tear-stricken face.
You know, I think this might be a horror game.

Seriously: I never played this game but even seeing this box art in the store I could tell this game's intent from a mile away. 
However what makes this game interesting to me is that this is an age of digital distribution and gaming stories are losing ground to online services - and at the same time, the horror genre is enjoying widespread success. D may have looked down right shocking in it's day staring from the shelves next to it's brightly colored contemporaries but now it looks quaint next to genuine shockers like Amnesia and Five Nights at Freddy's.
Maybe that's why the horror genre has taken off with online distribution: Seeing a box art like the one above wouldn't have worked in the stores as it may scare off potential customers. But online distribution, conversely, presents the notion that anything can be found - even that which lurks within the deepest darkest corners....

Bottom of the Barrel (no.5): Wild Pilot

It's been a while since I last did one of these so here we go:

Does anyone remember an arcade game called Wild Pilot?
I do. And I hated it.

First a description: Wild Pilot was one of the shooter arcade game where the player controlled a cross-hairs and shot things. Wild Pilot's gimmick was that the players were situated in an airplane the targets were all forms of aircraft. And the ultimate goal for each area was to hunt down some criminal, also in an airplane, and bring them down to claim a bounty.

However, what annoyed me about this game was the airplane the players were using was a World War 1 Biplane.
Yes you heard me: A biplane.

This annoyed me on two levels: Firstly, I was confused by why the PCs were using a biplane. Didn't they have enough money? Is that why the PCs were resorting to bounty hunting - because they really needed the money?
And secondly, the odds here are just absurd:
Your foes range from Harrier Jump-jets, Helicopter Gunships and F15's. You have a biplane.
Your foes have the best military aircraft hardware. You have a flying crate.
Your foes have the best weaponry they can find. You have something that will be shot out of the sky in mere minutes.

Granted I'm just irate that I was never any good at this game - I would rather shoot the target then the aircraft in front of it (because that was the aim of the game right?) - but looking back years later, this is not a game that has aged well. Never mind the near impossible odds, the visuals don't look that crash hot either. 

True this game may have it's fans but I'm not one of them.
Dammit, just talking about this game makes me angry.
Just look at this video and draw your own conclusions (dig that crazy scaling!):

Original video located here. Accessed 12th November 2014

Megaton of fun

Recently I saw Duke Nukem 3d: Megaton edition on sale on Steam. needless to say I snapped it up quick.

I did play Duke 3D during my high school years but I never really completed it. I did attempt it recently via the XBLA edition but I found some bugs that prevented me from going all the way.
But I have the Megaton edition, along with the bonus of the expansions, so this will no longer be a problem

Mind you I do refer to this recent purchase as the MegaTRON edition well, because it makes me laugh

The Lost Art of the Box Art (no.1)

As we move further and further into the digital age, it's becoming clear that game box art is becoming obsolete. Why buy a boxed game when you can easily get the same game online and subsequently save on shelf space?

But no matter: If box art is truly heading on the way out, I thought I might may take the time to pay tribute to this art form and talk about some of my favorites. After all, if the box art catches the eye of the potential buyer and convinces them to hand over their cash then the box art must've done something right.

So, to kickstart this series of posts, let's start with classic: May I present, all the way from the eighties, the box art to the Intellivision port of Donkey Kong!

One thing that looks hilarious with the passage of time is to see the box art to console games from the eighties: The box art is really putting an effort to make the game look exciting and inspiring the imagination. And so they had to: When your game is of limited shapes and sprites, one had to somehow sell their game and convince any newcomer to make a purchase. Indeed, one can only imagine the disappointment and frustration to see an exciting box art bear little resemblance to the game inside.
So with that in mind, let's take a look at the box art to the Intellivision port of Donkey Kong:

 I like this box art for two reasons. The first, and most obvious, being this box art is hilariously misleading. For starters, Mario has become muscular and ditched his cap to reveal a mullet haircut (!!!). And the setting has some how transformed into some weird landscape that would do MC Escher proud. But at the same time, Pauline is looking more desperate and Donkey Kong is looking more monstrous.
And the second reason why I like this artwork? It's misleading nature actually works! This game looks far more epic and desperate then the actual game itself! This in turn yields an angle that was never in anyway associated with the original game. Forget all the cute and cartoony charm of the original: Your girlfriend is looking desperate being imprisoned by a true monster!

And hey, the situation must be desperate if Mario is relying on (what appears to be) Mjolnir....

Calling in the Cavalry

Sometimes you have to work for a witty screencap and sometimes they just fall into your lap:

Feeling lucky punk?!

Touch Me I'm Sick

Some people just can't help themselves: